Chris' Political Humor Page
The Florida Debacle
Oh for heaven's sake... What the heck is going on down in Florida? They sure know how to ruin a perfectly good election. And, now they want to recount selective counties. Oh jeezzzz. Here are the true election results.
Gore wins! No, wait a minute, Bush wins. Count, re-count, then count again. Absentee ballots, hanging chads and certified results. And over in the financial markets, the NASDAQ soars 7% in the seven days leading up to the election largely in part due to the belief in a Bush win. The NASDAQ then loses 12.6% in a three day post-election melee. Let's be very clear. The financial markets are not looking favorably on a Gore victory.
So, I thought.. What I can *I* do to help? The result: my Florida Voters Assistance Page. Won't you please donate to the Deport a Liberal program?
Breaking World News. This just in from Belgrade where the Siberian President has taken action to restore a democratic society in Florida. And, it seems even the Queen herself has decided to take advantage of the situation. And, this just in, the Palm Beach Application for Residency. And don't forget the hot new craze: The Palm Beach Pokey.
And, Gore... Al... Mister Internet... What a piece of work you are. What are you trying to attempt with the recounts? Oh wait, that's right. You want to Steal the election. I almost forgot, you Democrats are known for this, as well as other, unethical posturing. Why can't you concede defeat and disappear quietly from public view? Like Billy-willy and the Senator-elect Hillary (what were New Yorkers thinking?), you're a total willing-to-say-anything-to-get-elected dirtbag. Period. In my book, you're all complete and utter scum. Declining morals and family values in America? We have to look no further than y'all.
Have any more good fodder for Al Gore, Billy-willy or Hillary, email it to me!
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