Chris' Political Humor Page - Al Gore I Am! (read with the rhythm of a Dr. Seuss nursery rhyme) 

From Chris: I cannot claim credit for writing this.  It was sent to me by a friend.  Enjoy!

Al Gore I am!

Can we count them with our nose?
Can we count them with our toes? 
Should we count them with a band? 
Should we count them all by hand? 
If I do not like the count, 
I will simply throw them out! 
I will not let this vote count stand, 
I do not like them, and Al Gore I am! 

Can we change these numbers here? 
Can we change them, calm my fears? 
What do you mean Dubya has won? 
That is not fair! It ruins my fun! 
Let's count them upside down this time, 
Let's count until the state is mine! 
I will not let THIS vote count stand! 
I do not like it, and Al Gore I am! 

I'm really ticked, I'm in a snit! 
You have not heard the last of it! 
I'll count the ballots one by one, 
And hold each up before the sun! 
I'll count, recount, and count some more! 
You'll grow to like this little chore! 
I will not let this vote count stand! 
I do not like it, and Al Gore I am! 

I won't leave office, stayin' here, 
I've glued my desk chair to my rear! 
Tipper, Hillary, and Bubba too, 
Are telling me that I should SUE! 
We find the Electoral College vile! 
Recount the votes until WE smile! 
We do not want this vote to stand! 
We do not LIKE it, Al Gore I am! 

How shall we count THIS ballot box? 
Let's count it standling in our socks! 
Shall we count this one in a tree? 
And who shall count it, you or me? 
We cannot, cannot count enough! 
We must not stop, we must be tough! 
I do not want this vote to stand! 
I do not like it, and Al Gore I am! 

I've counted till my fingers bleed and still 
can't fufill my counting need. 
I'll count the tiles on the floor and even 
count the ones next door! 
And I will not say I am done until the 
counting says I've WON! 
I will not let this vote count stand! 
I do not like it, and Al Gore I am! 

What's that? 
What? 
What's that you say? 
You think the current count should....STAY??? 
You do not like my counting scheme? 
It makes you tense? 
Gives you bad dreams? 
Foolish folks, you're wrong, you'll see! 
Your only care should be for ME! 
I will not let this vote count stand! 
I do not like it, and Al Gore I am! 

Return to My Good Humor page

Return to the Florida Debacle page