Good Humor Page
Different churches of the United States.
There was once a man who wanted to write a book about the different churches of the United States. He decided to fly to San Francisco and start working east from there. He goes to the very large Grace Cathedral in that city and begins taking photographs when he suddenly spots a golden telephone on a wall with a sign which reads $10,000 a minute. Intrigued, he seeks out the priest and asks about the phone and the sign. The priest advises him that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven, and, if he wants to use it, he can talk directly to God. "Thank you very much," he says and continues on his way.
His next stop is Clinton, Nebraska, and while attending a church here, he notices that there is exactly the same type of phone with exactly the same sign on it. Again, he seeks out the parish priest, asks the same question, and again is told that it is a direct line to God, etc. He thanks the priest and continues on his way.
Next in Milwaukee and Chicago, two cities rather close together, he discovers exactly the same type of phone with exactly the same sign beside it; makes inquiries of the local priests and receives exactly the same answer. Again, he thanks them and moves on his way.
Arriving in New York, he goes into the Cathedral of St. John, the Divine. The golden telephone is on the wall with the same sign reading $10,000 a minute. He checks with the Dean of the Cathedral and gets exactly the same answer. Continuing on through many other states, he finds the same phone, same sign and gets the same answer, until, finally, he arrives in Texas.
Upon entering San Fernando Cathedral in San Antonio, lo and behold, he sees the usual golden telephone with a sign. But THIS TIME, the sign reads "Calls 25 cents." By now fascinated, he gets hold of the Bishop and says to him, "Bishop, I have been in cities all across the country, and in each church I found this golden telephone and was told that it was a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God. But, in all of the other churches it was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 'Calls 25 cents.' Why?" The Bishop smiles benignly at him and says, "Oh, my son, that's very easy to explain. You see, you're now in Texas, and, of course, it is a local call from here."
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