Chris'
Good Humor Page
Tennessee Redneck Humor
Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can’t touch it till she’s fourteen.
What’s the most popular pickup line in Tennessee? Nice tooth.
How do you know when you’re staying in Tennessee? When you call the front desk and say “I’ve gotta leak in my sink” and the front desk says “go ahead”.
How can you tell if a redneck is married? There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of the pickup truck.
Did you hear that they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32? Seems that they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
What do they call reruns of Hee-Haw in Tennessee? A documentary.
What do they call them in Kentucky? Life styles of the rich and famous.
How many rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum? Two....One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic.
Why did God invent armadillos? So they can have 'possum on the half-shell.
Where was the toothbrush invented? Tennessee. If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush. (Note from Chris: Ask Al Gore if he invented the toothbrush. I'll bet he'd say yes!)
Did you hear about the $3,000,000.00 Tennessee state lottery? The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
Did you hear that the Governors mansion in Tennessee burned down? Yep, Pert’ near took out the whole trailer park.
A new law recently passed in
Tennessee: When a couple gets divorced, they are still
brother and sister.
What do you get when you have 32 Tennesseeans
in the same room?
Tennessee State Trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, “Got any I.D.?”
The driver says, "'bout what?"
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. “Where do you live?” asked the operator.
Bubba replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.”
The operator asked “Can you spell that for me?”
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said,
“How ‘bout I drag her over to Oak St. and you pick her up
there?”
Two guys from Tennessee are walking down different ends of the street towards each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, “Hey Tommy Ray, What’cha got in the bag?”
“Jus’ some Chickens.”
"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?”
“Shoot, ya guesses how many they are, I’ll give you both of them.”
"Ok, Ummmmm.... Five"?
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